Sometimes there’s just nothing better than cookies and milk.
For a split second, even the shortest, portliest athletically-challenged person can feel the airiness of Michael Jordan or Kareem Abdul jabar. With each slam dunk the saucer-like sweet softens. You eat what didn’t pull a Titanic, then you get to play like one of those creepy bottom feeder fish and skim what’s left after you down the slightly sweetened milk.
Oreo is supposed to be milk’s favorite cookie, but that quintessential cookie’s been having one too many one-night stands in Flavortown.
I mean, watermelon Oreos (wretch)? Birthday cake Oreos (gag)? Banana split Oreos (barf)? Toe jam Oreos (dry heave)? Okay, that last one was a joke, but c’mon!
Why can’t we just have Oreos? You know, 2 chocolate wafers hugging a creamy center like parents do when they kid goes off to college?
I was excited. It’s makers told The Today show that this pairing took so long to make its debut because they wanted to get the flavor right.
It comes in a smaller package. Part of me wants to scream, “RIPOFF!!” and part of me wants to say, “Oh, it must be limited edition if they’re only giving you a little at a time.”
But in my opinion, it misses the mark.
I taste sweetened peanut butter like you get in the candy.
It’s the combo of the milk chocolate and the sweetened peanut butter than gives the candy its iconic flavor.
To me, this is just a peanut butter Oreo.
I’m glad I tried it, but I think I’ll stick with Oreo’s first significant other, milk.
Tip: When having cookies and milk, take a few cookies from the package and put the package away. Otherwise, you’ll eat the whole thing. My previous research proves this point.